Loneliness in Men: Why Friends and Family are Crucial to Men’s Health

by Aspen Valley Hospital November 7, 2024

Loneliness can seem like a small and subtle thing in our lives—even peripheral. But combating loneliness is essential to men’s health and wellbeing. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention notes that more than one-third of adults over 45 feel lonely. One study published in Psychiatry Research highlights just how dangerous loneliness can be for men’s health, noting that of the 2,500 middle-aged men the study followed for more than 20 years, loneliness increased cancer risk by 10%. This halting finding is regardless of age, socioeconomic status, lifestyle or other risk factors. Additionally, the men diagnosed with cancer who were unmarried, widowed or divorced were more likely to die from cancer-related causes.

Maintaining meaningful relationships with friends and family is elemental to lifelong mental and physical health. Here, we take a closer look at the impacts of loneliness in men and how to combat them.

The Silent Crisis of Loneliness in Men

The rise of loneliness in men has been coined an epidemic in recent years. Studies and statistics show alarming rates, including only 27% of men having six close friends, down from 55% in 1995. In an American Perspectives Survey, only 30% of men said they had a private conversation with a friend sharing their feelings in the past week. These numbers are drastically lower than those for women, who more frequently and comfortably turn to family and friends as confidantes.

It’s important to note this epidemic is not only related to romantic relationships. Research conducted in 2021 by the American Survey Center reported that 15% of men claim they have no close friends, a 12% increase since 1990. Additionally, Equimundo published a study in 2023 that found a majority of men from Millennials to Gen Z agree with the statement, “No one really knows me well.” In the same publication, a majority of the men said they only have one or two close friends they feel comfortable confiding in outside their family.

The Link Between Loneliness and Mental Health

Young bearded man traveling by train in late afternoon Why does this matter? Beyond the vital human condition that no one should go through life alone, loneliness can lead to a variety of long-term health implications, including depression, anxiety, chronic stress, premature death and thoughts of self-harm. Men who are lonely can feel hopeless and disconnected.

The Harvard Gazette recently reported the negative effects of both loneliness and social isolation on happiness, one’s sense of optimism, sense of purpose and sense of hope.

Why Men Are More Prone to Loneliness

There are a variety of social expectations around masculinity and independence that make men more prone to loneliness, including:

Being taught not to ask for help
Career pressure
Unrealistic individualism
Not wanting to appear vulnerable or weak
The increase of urbanization and decline of traditional community structure

Additionally, men can face many challenges in forming deep connections, such as:

Not feeling comfortable expressing or discussing emotions
Avoiding talking about feelings
Depression
Not feeling psychologically safe to discuss emotions or develop close friendships
Lack of time
Introversion

Physical Health Consequences of Loneliness

Senior man having back pain Being lonely is often thought of as primarily affecting mental health. However, loneliness lands in the same category as smoking and obesity when it comes to increased risk of death in men. It can lead to cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, dementia and a weakened immune system. Additionally, loneliness can increase the risk of type 2 diabetes. It can also lead to sleep disorders. For men living alone, isolation can result in complications from injuries, such as hip fractures, as well as missed medical procedures.

The Importance of Male Friendships

We can easily recognize the importance of close friendships in children and women, and the same principles apply to men. And it’s important for men to branch out beyond traditional female friendships and develop kinships with other men. Doing so bolsters men’s confidence, self-awareness and mental and emotional health.

While men might not see their friends as frequently as women, knowing they’re there is important. This support network helps build emotional resilience and strengthen emotional intelligence. It also helps combat stress, allowing men to feel understood and more relaxed as life’s challenges come their way.

Family Ties: A Lifeline for Men’s Health

Boy (6-7) face to face with grandfather in forest Strong family connections can improve men’s mental and physical health in a variety of ways—some obvious and others less so—including reducing stress, enhancing self-esteem and improving coping mechanisms. Within the family structure, different relationships and dynamics can provide support in different ways.

Spouses

A trusted partner can help combat loneliness by providing trust and support through challenging situations as well as being a reliable go-to for daily activities and outings.

Children

It’s okay to look to children for emotional support. They can be experts in bringing laughter and joy to situations, as well as opportunities to connect through sports, activities, homework and getting outside.

Extended Family

Larger families, by definition, provide a larger network of connections to help beat loneliness, however, this is not a given. If you come from a large family, it’s still important to check in with male family members to make sure they aren’t experiencing loneliness and isolation, even within the framework of a large family.

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Loneliness and Aging: A Growing Concern for Older Men

Loneliness can become more pervasive as men get older. Social networks can become smaller. The death of a spouse can leave men isolated. Age-related and chronic health issues can make socialization more difficult. Hearing and blindness can also make it harder to connect with friends and family.

It takes some effort, but working to stay connected through age is essential to mental, emotional and physical health and longevity. Strategies include:

Volunteer
Adopt a pet
Exercise with a group or personal trainer
Attend local community events and outings
Join social media
Explore senior activity groups in your area
Take a class
Talk with you neighbors from time to time
Connect with your spirituality through faith-based groups or activities

Overcoming Stigma: Encouraging Men to Seek Support

People sit in a circle, attend group therapy, and focus on the mature man. Many of the stigmas around men’s mental health result from outdated gender norms. Old ideas of masculinity no longer apply to modern society, and often lead to more stress, depression and isolation. It’s important to start by recognizing the signs of loneliness in men and mental health concerns, including changes in mood, weight gain or loss, sadness, hopelessness or decreased interest in work, hobbies or family. Encourage conversation around the subject of loneliness and talk openly and without judgment.

Normalizing conversations about loneliness is an important step in making it more acceptable, and therefore easier to address. Encourage seeking help, including community or group support and one-on-one therapy or counseling. This can also lead to acceptance of one’s feelings and empower male friendships and confidants.

The Healing Power of Connection

Friends and family play an essential role in men’s health. It’s important to shed any outdated generational notions that men need to remain guarded, private and stoic, avoiding establishing friendships. Doing so increases health and happiness and actively contributes to long-term wellbeing. Companionship and support are gateways to a more peaceful, fun and fulfilling life.